unions, appearances and misconceptions

another entry of thoughts..

napipikon din pala si olie.. he got impatient with me re:violy's txt message (my fault really) and he somewhat raised his tone of voice.. not much of a big deal. first time lang kasi.. Worth noting. capable. well, everyone is capable naman.

maybe it was just the two of us in Subic over the weekend.. pero WE DIDN'T DO IT. not that it is of anyone's business naman.

hmm. o di ba concerned pa din sa image kahit papano.

i hereby resolve NOT to talk or plan or do any wedpreps (except read wowie emails). parang roller coaster na un mood ko.. excited-depressed-excited-depressed.. haay.. its so heartbreaking.

di ko ba maintindihan kung totoo ba, matutuloy ba, gusto ba talga nya, napipilitan lang, nabigla lang nun... o bka di din pa sya sure. ewan ko na.. tama na. so much of my time, energy and talent was wasted on something that right now is just "CLUTTER" in my mind. siguro nga masyado ako'ng pabigla bigla.. i don't like hanging plans.. gusto ko go agad once something is settled. so right now no plans na lang until the time na it will really come to be. pag totoo na.

right now, i feel like being alone. muni muni.

feeling din kasi ako. feeling special. feeling ako na ang swerte nya na pumayag ako. mali ako dun. naku, kakagatong ng mga tao sa paligid ko, naisasabuhay ko na ang sinasabi ng ilan. haay.

hearing about maru, i'm thankful that she and aybeam have a healthy baby girl - Nina. and at the same time, apprehensive of my future in that area. God's will.