my olie!

olie with border, originally uploaded by oliegra.

here's a pic of my olie - hunee!!

super sweet, patient, bait, kulit (hehehe) na tao.. always game. kahit san mo dalhin pwede, di ma-keme, di maarte.. accepting, understanding. simple. hmm. loving. loveable. hehehe. parang stuff toy di ba. cool. kewl. kung sa ugali lang, panalo na.

love ko sya. and i will most probably marry him someday, if he asks me to. :-)

countdown to a first xmas

its our first christmas together, olie and i. i want to make it special, memorable. and I STILL HAVEN'T GOT HIM A GIFT!!!

given the limited time i have to find a gift, here are some ideas:
1. a shirt/ polo shirt/ polo
2. sensual theme - red briefs/ boxers, scented candles, massage oils and a book.. oh.. and Red Bull and Clusivol.. HEHEHEHE
3. a necklace
4. wallet with our picture
5. perfume?
6. a couple's board game, champagne/ red wine and candles (similar to #2)

---- grabe, ubos ang creative juices ko dito.. ------

7. uuh oh!!! what else???? hmm... stuff toy? (c/o joseph)

bahala na! masisira ata record ko pagdating sa gift giving dito...

oh. pero since its christmas, ok ata a good book, since we won't be seeing each other on the day itself.. un mga sensual..parang di pa tama ang timing.. hehehe.. pang valentines ata utn.. hahahaha.

well, whatever. bahala na.. hehehe..

the sun shines brightly on this PARTEEEE!

it the GPL xmas party tonight.

still haven't thought of a gift for olie.. perfume? wallet? necklace? oh dear. i really should start looking.

met the gang last nyt - verns, maleen , joseph, odin, chie and ken.. missed them. sa kanila lang never serious ang usapan but that doesn't mean we aren't serious about our work.. CPK.

The Edge of Reason

watched Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason yesterday.

whats new? hmm.. nagbabalik loob ako kay olie. i mean, with him i have reassurance na khit ano pa harapin namin, he will be with me.. magkasama kaming haharap sa buhay. o di ba ang drama. but that is really how i feel.

oo nga i felt magic with sonny and not with olie.. but what olie and i have is deeper (it seems ha). would magic last a lifetime???

this blog is like a monologue or a graph na ata.. depicting the ups and downs of our relationship.

oh.. but i love olie.. he is sweet and gentle and kind and patient, a romantic as well. and he loves me and my flaws. when i'm with him, i find courage and strength..

maybe sometimes i get impatient with him, demanding... and i know for all the times that i compared him to others i sinned. but he is with me pa rin.... he is real. our love is real.

pre-w@w party-tots

i have my hesitations attending this party... actually, i have my doubts as to whether the wedding olie and i talked about will really push through.. i doubt if i want to spend the rest of my life with him. needless to say, this is obvious based on my previous posts.

hmm. another factor is that its the 2nd practice day for our xmas party presentation.

oh well. now we really have to go. sabay kasi si beth mina, a friend from college going to the gazebo royale. his fiance won't be able to make it pala...

i do hope manalo kami sa raffle... :-)

a bump in the head

so here i am kinda considering, thinking, contemplating as to a possible future with sonny.. when portia, kuya mon reminded me of the things i didn't like in our relationship then, of some of the answers to the why it didn't work out on our first try.. worth considering when thinking of having another go at it again..

this is all based on the assumption that he is willing to get back together with me.. from abbey though, it appears that in time when we are both "mature and no longer as busy", he'll take me back.. hmmm... how presumptous of him.

so before i consider any of the what ifs on that thought, i should remember that:

1. he doesn't call me even when we were together, he didn't call me after i called it quits to even convince me to give it a try.. and last and most significant: he doesn't communicate with me now.
2. i am not as domesticated as i was back then... really. dunno what got into me then when i cleaned his house, cooked for him, washed the dishes. at least i didn't do the laundry.. hehehe.. (there's still hope for me, after all)
3. my fascination for malling, shopping, the movies and eating out is really way out of his interest and field.
4. though we haven't really tried it all the way, i doubt if he and i are compatible sexually (derived from my uhh.. limited physical interaction with him)
5. although he made me feel inept, inadequate back then (which is actually my fault for letting my confidence submerge), i doubt if he'd be interested in the real me now who will question his will and decisions
6. wellllllll, it was love at first sight for me then. unbelievable as that may sound. which is actually what makes it so precious to me.
7. but relationships are more than that. it has to be more for it to last. there has to be compatibility and compromise.
8. blah blah blah.. it seems this list is endless.. but one last note...
9. there is olie now.

i do hope my mind (and heart, however it is involve in this.. hehehe) clears up pretty soon. im messing up a good thing with olie right now.

memories

Sonny & Grace at Westin Philippine Plaza
originally uploaded by gra.

the past week has been really confusing.. i emailed mabe (a friend from HS who was also my officemate in CADP) that we have a reunion on the 19th. weelll, her reply contained the following statement..

"O sige, i hope you have a nice life there. Miss ka pa rin ni sonny, i think. Last time we went out, siguro Sept. yon, puro ikaw ang laman ng bibig. Ano bang pinakain mo dun?"

hmm... makes me think.. coz wala naman na kami communication except for the times that i do text him..

and then the following days seem to contain moments that reminded me of him as well..

i was in the elevator and there was this guy riding it with me.. he wasn't wearing a uniform and he has a certain presence.. he was wearing his ID... my curiousity got the best of me and i look at it.. he was working at Lifetime Plans (formerly PPI).. i looked at his name.. it was sonny.

so the following day, i called CADP to talk to Abbey, their operator who was a chika friend of mine.. and it so happens that sonny was in makati when i called. we didn't get to talk though.

on wednesday of last week, i bought a book.. one of the characters in the story was also sonny.

yesterday, olie and i was at glorietta.. they have an on-going car show of Isuzu D-Max.. the vehicle that sonny really really likes. he wanted me to get one for us when the i get promoted to Senior Manager...

everyday its the same. today is no different. in our meeting this morning with bernard, portia and lani.. bernard talked about attending a concert with apple at Westin sometime ago... on valentine's day of this year, sonny and his sister watched a concert there as well. and he didn't invite me.. maybe the tickets were expensive, or his sister didn't know yet that he has me then.. i dunno.. basta i remember feeling bad coz it was valentine's day.. he made up for it naman. he introduced me to his family the following day.

so im thinking... are these SIGNS from GOD????

i texted violy of these incidents... shucks.. she told me that maybe God is reminding me where my HEART really is...

i'm just praying na in the right time, in God's time.. i will know my place, His plan, His will will be revealed.

a drop in the ocean

each has its own beginnings.. a single smile, a wink, a wave and a simple look can go a long way. and on that note, i'd like to quote Og Mandino:

Never allow anyone to rain on your parade

and thus cast a pall of gloom and defeat on the entire day.

Remember that no talent, no self-denial, no brains,

no character are required to set up in the fault-finding business.

Nothing external can have power over you

unless you permit it.

Your time is too precious to be sacrificed wasted

days combating the menial forces of hate, jealousy and envy.

Guard your fragile life carefully.

Only God can shape a flower,

but any foolish child can pull it to pieces.