HOT SEAT

had to go to a wake last night with some officemates. the son of one of our workmates drowned. the wake was at the church in the next village from our place...



however, that is not the highlight of the night. at least not for me. call me insensitive or whatever but we (olie and i) were "interrogated" by our big boss.

.. we were talking in 3 small groups when suddenly it turned to be 1 big group composed of the big boss, our evp, 2 vps, 1 avp and 4 managers.. the interrogation started like:

boss: may asawa ka na?
me: no. wala pa po.
manager1: bf ho meron, si olie (sabay turo kay olie who was in the other small group)

boss: mabait ba?
me: huh? (im not used to being asked this question coz most of the people i met in the company knows olie is really mabait. i thought the question weird and that maybe ako yun tinatanong kung mabait ako..)
boss: mabait?
me: opo.

boss: ilan taon ka na?
me: 26...po.
boss: eh si olie?
me: 33.
boss: kung ako nga ok pa kahit 20 yrs ang agwat... hmm.. 7 yrs.. pwede na.

about this time, olie transferred to the seat beside me.. topic was changed but...bumalik pa din.

boss: so anu? may balak na kayo?
me: (pointed to olie)
it now turned into 1 big group with my immediate boss eagerly awaiting our response. (refer to 2 posts earlier so that you'd understand why we are reacting this way)
olie: (wipes his face.. profusing with sweat..) (thinking: uh-oh! HOTSEAT!!) na ano ho?
boss: pakasal. kelan ba?
avp: (butts in..) grace is asking nga kung pwede na itong church na ito eh..
boss: (persistent!) to olie pa din: kelan ba? this year ba?
olie: hindi po.
boss: naku yun anak ko, the one in abroad.. prepared for the wedding a year and a half in advance.
avp: eh pag sa manila cathedral dito ganyan din.
boss: (kay olie ulet!) so may plano na kayo? kelan ba?

i couldn't look at anyone to their face. i let olie answer the questions. the other officers are awaiting his response.

boss: 2006?
olie: (finally answers...) SECRET!.... malalaman nyo na lang ho. sasabihan ko kayo.

soon enough it was time to leave. buti na lang. i felt hot in the face all this time. grabe. super duper HOT SEAT. olie was trying to wipe of his sweat.

isip pa nga namin, since magkakasama sila pauwi, baka topic pa din kami. hahahaay.. we wouldn't be there to make a stand.

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syempre early this morning, kantyawan dito sa office. ninang na daw namin si bossing.. shucks.

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olie said its not as if we planned on inviting them. (we might end up inviting them, after all. )

solo flight

i feel like being alone. just for a while.

there are a lot of things in my mind.. a lot that irritate me, worry me.

--- we still haven't finalized our contract with the photographer

--- i was looking forward to some quiet, quality time with h2b this weekend at a beach. any beach. tapos ngayon, mukhang nasira na plans.

--- with much regret, i've decided to discontinue my mba at la salle. financial reasons.

--- after the wedding, then what?

sometimes pati sa kasal napapaisip ako. kung handa na ba talga ako. i better be.

maybe i should get a time out. spend a day alone. but where will i go to do that? haay. gusto ko na naman mag leave.

i feel pressured by my responsibilities. i have lots of work to do yet i do not want to attend to any of it at all. not right now.

sometimes i just want to shout and give it all up... i feel so tired. i want to be carefree again. even if just for a while.

hiding

why is it that we aren't telling anyone that we are getting married? anyone in our office, that is.

i wonder what are we afraid of.

sometimes i just want to shout it out, that yes, we are getting married. yes! we are lucky to have found each other! yes, i truly love him! yes, i'm spending the rest of my life with him...

why do i have to hide my excitement? why do i hide my wedding paraphernalia even during lunch breaks or after office hours?

its soo hard. sometimes, i feel like bursting with a good news, a milestone in our preps and i have to keep it to myself, share it to fellow w@wies or just blog it.

i'm truly grateful to be a part of w@w.

sometimes i really hate it here. most of the time it just sucks. sometimes, the times when i hate it, it feels like hell. am soo looking forward to God's plans for me. :-)

a while back, my boss jokingly said that if we have any plans of getting married, we better start counting 2 years from that day.. so my officemates were kidding me that it was part of my contract when i was hired. actually, its been a constant topic, joke, hirit, whatever.

its just a joke, a half meant one.

i wonder how the news of me getting married will change my career path here. :-(

the thing is, i really resent the fact that they feel i have to tell them 2 yrs in advance. it really makes me mad! i know i shouldn't let myself be affected, but i see these people everyday. and remembering the things said is so easy. during my happiest moments when i accomplish something for our wedding, a part of me remembers and resents them for those things.

sometimes, i just feel so tired that i want to tell them to their face, "oh, didn't you know? we got married already. i just didn't invite you. why? obviously, i didn't want you there". truly, i don't want them there. hahaha (that's actually 14 off the list!)

i agree with what i read somewhere. forgive me coz i forgot where exactly. that if the meal is at 500 pesos per head, would i really be willing to spend 14 x 500 = 7,000 pesos to feed these people, like a treat/ libre? eew! just thinking about it makes me feel like hitting myself for even considering it. hahaha. now that settles it. am sure olie will be happy to know, we just reduced the guests by 14.

just a concern though. i might have to resign coz they might not be talking to me after the wedding, and even before it, as soon as they find out i didn't invite them.

oh well, its my wedding. i'll just look for other employment. hehehe

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i wonder how olie feels. :-( maybe he doesn't want to tell people yet. that leaves me.. i dunno. i guess i have to respect his feelings as well.

outing kuno

after a really boring weekend... it was so boring i can't even remember where we were last saturday. sunday we were at powerplant window shopping.. where i saw really cute table napkins!!! here are some designs from their website, some of which i saw at the mall:



oooh.. and they also have toilet paper..i plan to purchase some.. in line with my theme.

olie wanted to watch a movie but it was soo cold.. so we didn't.

ookeeyy.. olie just reminded me that we were at Glorietta last saturday. dunno why. hahaha. oh well.

anyway, i'm really lookin forward to this coming saturday.. yep, finally we are heading to a beach.. albeit a nearby one.. cheap kasi namin. Munting Buhangin in Nasugbu lang. well, what the hell. in this heat, anywhere with clean water is ok.. anywhere outside of the metro is great.

so for this week, im on a strict diet.. asus. chika! hahahaha.

checklist for our beach day:

---- sunblock
---- banig/ sarong
---- beach/ golf umbrella (hahaha)
---- camera AND tripod (note to self: charge the battery on Friday)
---- swimwear!!! (uhmm bootylicious!)

share ko lang

tears

and the tears fell. i don't know why. i was reading an email from a person i met just once...

i'm glad that things got sorted out between us. i feel that despite our misunderstanding, we understood each other better now. and respect each other's ways and preferences.

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my laptop keeps getting the NIMDA virus.. its been like this for weeks!!! Grr...

i can't focus on my work.. or my chat.. or my blog coz the Trend Micro Scan keeps popping up the screen identifying thousands of supposedly virus-infected files..

well, i don't really expect much from our IT people.. i mean, come on! they've been sending OJTs to run programs that should cure my laptop but i've been to these trainee doctors X number of times.. i've run their anti-NIMDA program XX number of times! and every morning when i open my computer, the number of virus-infected files keeps getting bigger.

i've learned to ignore the disturbing screen this week.. reducing my time for work, or chatting, or blogging to half.

uhh.. and more on OJTs.. each time the OJT visits me, they always ask me how long i've been here or which department was i assigned to before. then they ask me where did i work before. and how long. at this rate, i get irritated. and a bit flattered siguro?!? feeling kasi ako. feeling ko they see me as new employee, na tipong rank and file. maybe i look young for my age. and i am pretty sure i am too young for this position, but what the heck. my ego is hurt!(it is that mababaw. eh panu naman istorbo sa work, chat at blog noh. and they can't seem to fix whatever it is that's wrong.)

hehehe. nonsense stuff. just blabbing.

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i'm thinking of going into business. sometime. 8 to 5 work is boring. hehehe. maybe an opportunity to do so just opened today.

we'll see.

checkpoint (i'm smiling!)

great news:

i was able to book Cecilio Abad yesterday for my bridal gown! (another item off the list!!!) hahaha. si h2b tuwa sa mga comment ni Cecil.. true! kahit ako naaliw. everytime we leave his shop (its our 3rd visit, btw) we end up saying "chuva", "yezz", etc. i like him. i was a bit of a confused bride when i first met him, a weird and undecided one the second time and now this. finally we understood each other. :-) we came up with a new design which we both loved. i was measured. and we have a schedule for the first fitting already.

a +++ of our visit: i saw someone fitting her gown. it was really really nice. :-)

i guess i better start shedding those inches. ugh! ok na sana when he said maintain na lang ako.. i couldn't imagine the measurement he got from my waist = 25.5!!! heller??? im i really??? binobola ata ako ni cecil.. hehehe. :-) napaisip tuloy ako. bka naman pag suot ko di na ako mkahinga. and MAKAKAIN. and he further added na better if i can make it into a 24!!! 24??? i was still in Grade 6 when i last had a 24-inch waistline. hehehe. oh well. even without him telling me, i would love to be sexiER (kasi sexy na ngayon!) for my h2b. if there's an exercise that would help me grow my booblets into full-blown boobies, i'd do it. vain ko talga.

maybe some would be offended by such a comment but i wasn't. After all, it is my choice to lose or gain weight. and Cecil's job is to make a gown that fits me and not somebody else. additional advices such as getting rid of an inch is very much appreciated, knowing he gives it to help me look my best, plus it was delivered/ worded nicely.

i don't mind his comments because i know no matter what my waistline is, i'll be pretty in my Cecil Abad gown on my wedding!!! hehehe. ganyan ang bride! go! go! go!



with exactly 9 months, 4 weeks and 1 day to go, here's the list of our accomplishments..

church - paid dp
reception venue - paid dp
caterer - booked
flowers - paid dp

rings - ok
arrhae - ok

photo - paid dp
video - paid dp

bridal gown - paid booking fee
hmua - paid dp

otd - paid dp

(andami na noh! hehe. excited ako eh.
no actually, im the type of person who can't relax until something is finalized..
and then i look for the next thing to finalize..
a relentless cycle.

i wanted to buy the embosser for the envelope na nga yesterday after booking cecil eh.
mauna pa yun embosser sa invite! hahaha.
buti pinigilan ako ni h2b)

other major stuff to take care off are as follows (ordered chronologically):

souvenirs
church and legal requirements
entourage gowns
barongs
invites
honeymoon

misallete - ready for printing
bible

we'll probably buy the necessary items for our souvenir around the 3rd week of may (after our exams and before the rainy season, hopefully).

then finalize menu and other details with the reception/ caterer.

meet and formally inform our principal sponsors.

arrange for a couturier to do my entourage gowns.

pick, order, calligraph and deliver invites.

make arrangements for the honeymoon and our lovenest.

and voila! relax and get prettified!!! o, di ba so easy....

looking up

i soo love the color of this gumamela flower.. it is of the exact shades that i want for my entourage gowns.. :-)



yesterday i found out that something that i wanted and i was sure that i have was not meant to be mine. had a bit of a cry, sigh, sniff and silence.

oh well.

today i move on. no sense delaying it, after all.

in our search for a souvenir idea, we came across some great finds:

<--- ups and downs --->

i am so happy to get our wedding ring. we weren't expecting it until mid-May but we got it last Saturday from Alain and Mye of Matus. i love our rings so much i want to wear it already.. hehehe. oh well, here's a pic of our W-Ring..



we want to wear similar rings. since i already have my dream ring (eternity).. i'd have to place any other stones elsewhere.. hehehe.



aside from that, the rings with stones that look nice on me doesn't look good on him and vice versa.

only this design fits us both. :-)
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just as i was hyper and giddy-happy over the weekend, todya i'm a bit disappointed. i miss having someone to talk to. aside from olie. i miss having a girl friend, especially during the times when i know only a fellow girl would understand.

kung anu ano

proposals

i posted my thoughts on proposal before but somehow it got lost in the upload process. well, just to react to a w@wie topic, i must say that a well prepared proposal is always appreciated but somehow taken forgranted. we've come to expect the movie-way of doing it. each guy has his own way of expressing himself. :-) what is essential is the sincerity of the person. sometimes a proposal that comes as a burst of emotion.. like on that instant he felt that he loves you so much he wanted to marry you and he can't help himself but tell you so is just as sweet (IMO).

great great news!

my college buddy/ friend Ellen Grace Lamanilao passed the Bar Exam!! cheers and congratulations!

and more great news: she is part of my entourage... and she is also getting married!!!!

katampuhan

got nothin nice to say. better not blog it. coz i might remember it always. :-P

sad news :-(

chie's dad died last thursday. we were able to pay our respects last sunday.

too many deaths it seems. just the week before, tito mon's father died as well. it was then that i found out my relation to ron miras... he would be an uncle-in-law of mine. hahahaha.

and just last night, mom is asking me to drive her to another wake this week.

wed prep update

we were able to look around at Divisoria for some samples of handpainted gowns. it was then that i realized that i don't really want a handpainted one. nor do i want a gown filled with beads and embellishment. i just want elegance and a certain style - my style... whatever that is.

crazy moments

been a bit more crazy than usual this weekend. was cranky to friends. sullen. dull. sad. depressed. impatient. hot tempered.

work, friends, family, wedpreps.. i found something wanting in everything. time for me to chill out and count my blessings.

smile! smile! smile!

thank you for olie - who always manages to make me smile.

compromise

haven't blogged in a while. couldn't find the time to gather my thoughts. im always chatting with new found chikamates, friends, teachers, advisers at kung anu ano pa, reading w@w emails, searching for gown designs, nice bouquet setups on the web.

i'm kind of settled na with some aspects of the design of my gown. it seems that this week, yan ang bukang bibig ko - gown design and designer. i even dream of my wedding march, focusing particularly on how my gown flows like a cloud or mist about me. :-)

the value of a gown - i have thought a lot about this (in fact, its the only thing on my mind whatever it is that im doing). cguro nga if i was asked to speak on any topic, i'd blurt out stuff/ thoughts that revolve on my gown. call it obsession or paranoia.. whatever. just like most brides, i want to be at my best on my wedding day - the prettiest i can be, the most beautiful look i will have my whole life. the wedding gown would most probably be the most beautiful piece of clothing that i'll ever own (and probably the most expensive, too!) i guess since this is the only opportunity i'll have to wear a bonggaceous gown and be 'THE' star of the show (di kasi nakapag debut eh..) gusto ko sana BUHOS. but i have to face it - i have to be practical as well. just as kahit in my memory lang i want to be "THE" star, there is life after it.



sabi ni h2b, wag ko daw tipidin sarili ko for gown. (hanggang magkano kaya yun hindi tipidin???)

i guess compromise is the word. that is what wedpreps has taught me. for some, cguro there are things that they really really want for their wedding (after all, once in a lifetime lang nga sya..) kumbaga, make your DREAM WEDDING into a REALITY... but when i think of what REALLY matters.. compromise comes easy na.

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the basketball tournament in our company has been ongoing for the past few weeks. our team, who have the impression (and the track record) of being the weakest just won last night. they are not the tallest, in fact maliliit pa most of them. they can't jump high. they are not as maliksi as the players of the other team. and some of them are 40+ yrs old na. but they won. i guess passion and desire and of course, teamwork prevailed. its their first win in the 6 or 7 games they played. and i'm very proud and happy for them. :-)