hiding

why is it that we aren't telling anyone that we are getting married? anyone in our office, that is.

i wonder what are we afraid of.

sometimes i just want to shout it out, that yes, we are getting married. yes! we are lucky to have found each other! yes, i truly love him! yes, i'm spending the rest of my life with him...

why do i have to hide my excitement? why do i hide my wedding paraphernalia even during lunch breaks or after office hours?

its soo hard. sometimes, i feel like bursting with a good news, a milestone in our preps and i have to keep it to myself, share it to fellow w@wies or just blog it.

i'm truly grateful to be a part of w@w.

sometimes i really hate it here. most of the time it just sucks. sometimes, the times when i hate it, it feels like hell. am soo looking forward to God's plans for me. :-)

a while back, my boss jokingly said that if we have any plans of getting married, we better start counting 2 years from that day.. so my officemates were kidding me that it was part of my contract when i was hired. actually, its been a constant topic, joke, hirit, whatever.

its just a joke, a half meant one.

i wonder how the news of me getting married will change my career path here. :-(

the thing is, i really resent the fact that they feel i have to tell them 2 yrs in advance. it really makes me mad! i know i shouldn't let myself be affected, but i see these people everyday. and remembering the things said is so easy. during my happiest moments when i accomplish something for our wedding, a part of me remembers and resents them for those things.

sometimes, i just feel so tired that i want to tell them to their face, "oh, didn't you know? we got married already. i just didn't invite you. why? obviously, i didn't want you there". truly, i don't want them there. hahaha (that's actually 14 off the list!)

i agree with what i read somewhere. forgive me coz i forgot where exactly. that if the meal is at 500 pesos per head, would i really be willing to spend 14 x 500 = 7,000 pesos to feed these people, like a treat/ libre? eew! just thinking about it makes me feel like hitting myself for even considering it. hahaha. now that settles it. am sure olie will be happy to know, we just reduced the guests by 14.

just a concern though. i might have to resign coz they might not be talking to me after the wedding, and even before it, as soon as they find out i didn't invite them.

oh well, its my wedding. i'll just look for other employment. hehehe

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i wonder how olie feels. :-( maybe he doesn't want to tell people yet. that leaves me.. i dunno. i guess i have to respect his feelings as well.