perhaps

perhaps i was never meant to wear that long white dress, or walk down the aisle...

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a couple of my friends here in Bermuda are planning their wedding in the Philippines this year. it seems to me that i am more so into the wedpreps than they are. but then, i wouldn't know if they actually stopped sleeping at night and instead stay online browsing at all of those so pretty wedding whathaveyous.

i wonder if i'll ever get married. right now, it seems that i'm into the wedding and not into the guy i am supposed to marry. there is obviously something wrong in this picture.

hmmm... i wonder if i can really commit to this. a long and hard haul for sure.

last night

in some ways, it seems like it was just yesterday that i was olie's bride to be.

it may be that i was already not his for the longest time, but it was only last night that i've come to realize that maybe i will never be his. ever.

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maybe i didn't know what true love meant, until i lost it.
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there are things that i just can't take back. or turn back. or fix. or make up for.
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there are things that i want that i can never have. (is this where they say it wasn't mine in the first place?)
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there are consequences and then there are life-long consequences.
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what i want and what i have are worlds apart.
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there are things that are worth fighting for.
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the best things in life are worth the wait.